(Blake Month 20) July 25th 2013

Dear Blake, 

You are just starting to get along with Pepper. I thought it would happen much sooner than this, but she kept her distance for a while and then you were kind of mean to her, espeically while you were learning to walk and always pulling on her hair and ears and tail. Now though, it is as if all those bad feelings have disappated. She runs with you around the house. You throw the ball for her in the yard. You laugh and giggle when she comes on walks with us. You absolutely adore when she comes in the car with us. I think you two are finally becoming friends. 

I always laugh when you two are running around the house. You will steal her ball and just run, holding it up in your hand. She will chase you all over the house, just waiting for you to drop or throw it. You will roll it down the stair rail or drop it in a shoe and it cracks me up. I'm not sure if you are deliberately trying to frustrate her, but either way it is pretty fun. You boss her around a lot too: "Pepper no," "Drop it," and "Peppers sit!" are some of your favorites. 

Summer really has brought out the best in both of you and I look forward to more time together, more bonding, and more laughs. 

Love you kid, 

Mama

(Month 19) June 24th 2013

Dear Pirate King, 

Today you turned from 18 month old into a 4 year old and back again all within the realms of an afternoon. Really, these are the times that scare me the very most. You are already growing so fast, and to catch a glimpse of what you will be like a three and four years old is completely terrifying. I want to wrap you up and store you in a time capsule where everything inside is frozen while the world moves on around it, aging and changing. 

Today I saw that 4 year old Blake will be full of fun and trouble. He will be eager for adventures and still a little cautious when it comes to danger. He will be strong and determined. He will be quick to smile and laugh and maybe even cause a bit of trouble. He will be ready for anything, yet not wanting to get too far from his loved ones. He will be such a big boy, and that is something I am so glad I do not have to confront just yet. 

We visited G.G. and Bapa today, as well as their little kiddie pool in the back yard. The water was filled just in time for us to realize you didn't have a suit or a swim diaper. So instead of worry about it we simply stripped you down, pulled off your regular diaper, and then tugged your red shorts back on. We tied a bandanna on your head so your scalp wouldn't burn and let you run wild. You were free to run and fall as you liked. You are welcome to splash and pad around in the pool. You were encouraged to chase and kick the soccer ball. You were such a grown up little boy in those moments I could hardly watch. 

Then, once you were tired out, we dried you off, cleaned you up, and wrapped you up tight for a nap. My baby boy was back and I welcomed it while holding him in my arms. I will never get tired of holding you while you nap. I love it, honestly I do. So sweet, quiet, and angelic when you sleep. Thanks for coming back to me, my little 18 month old. It is too soon for you to leave me with a grown up boy. 

Love you always, 

Mama

(Month 18) May 5th 2013

Dear Blakie Boy, 

You make me melt. There are so many words in your arsenal now and each one of them has be gushing down into a puddle every time you string a few of them together. You say Mama and Papa with such finesse. You also know G.G., Lala, Tio, Kelsey, Nana, and Bapa. Other things that are your favorite include ball, blue, beep beep, and still of course nie nie. You also say "no" on occasion and I have learned to ask only questions when I know you answer will be "yeah." There is one word though, that has be wrapped even more than all the others. It is, "peas."

You stand by the pantry door, look over your shoulder at me, and say in your darling voice, "cookie peas," and I am a goner. I immediately sweep you up, open the door, and hand you a graham cracker, or animal cracker, and anything we have even remotely resembling a cookie. "Peas," is such a powerful when when coming from the mouth of my 18 month old big boy. 

You play cars and kick the soccer ball like nobody's business. Really, it is astounding how good you are with coordination. Also, we have pretty much you are left handed. You sometimes will color with your right or push a car. However you almost always color, eat, and nit pick with your left. The fine motor skills are most certainly coordinated with that little left hand of yours. It is darling, and terrifying as I watch you grow and develop so much. 

Also, you get the moist messy face, because of course you are determined to eat dinner without my help. It is something I am not afraid of though. Some mommy cannot handle a messy baby and a messy kitchen table. I really don't mind it. I just plop you in the tub after every particularly gruesome meal and am all the happier for your enjoyment and success at getting one more spoonful in your mouth than you managed the day before. 

Another thing you really like, coloring. If I have a pen in hand it is not two seconds before you are up on my lap, tapping my pad of paper, and demanding a beep beep, or choo choo. My artistic skills are constantly being put to the test and one of our better investments has been in a set of sturdy colored pencils. You found them in the office a week or so ago, and they simply have not left your sight since. 

My growing boy, we are so proud of you. You can do so many things, things I never even imagined an 18 month old could do. Astounding, simply astounding. That is what you are my darling boy. It is so exciting being you mom, and such an honor. We are smitten with you and cannot wait to keep learning and growing with you. 

All my love and hugs, 

Mama

(Month 16) Tuesday, March 19th 2013

Dear Kid of Mine,

You are blossoming and thriving, especially in this rediscovered warmer weather. Running around outside is one of your new favorite things. When I go to put Pepper out in the morning you are right there, trying to squeeze your way through the sliding glass door. It cracks me up, really. You want to be out in the middle of it. You want to be part of the vast world spinning around and around. You want the sun on your skin. You want the dirt beneath your feet. Throw in a little slide and you are in heaven.

I love how easy you are to please right now. As long as your little, curious fingers have mine to hold you will take on any mountain. You can sit for hours spinning a spoon in a little bowl and call that entertainment. Every marble run your Papa builds is seriously the most exciting thing. You come running whenever you hear those marbles dropping back and forth. Those happy little moments are so precious to me. Especially when you forget the "nienie" and start talking away.

You know so many words now. Some of them are: water, milk, diaper, Pepper, cereal, lunch, downstairs, and Pepper. You know what a cow says, "moo," and what a doggie says, "ah ah." Most importantly you know "Mama," and "Papa." We love when you say our names, but I especially love when you whisper. I will say, "I, Love," and you will whisper, "Papa." Then I tickle you like crazy, because that is the wrong answer, but really it is always the right answer. I hope to never forget the way you little voice says those sweet, sweet words.

Well, keep it up little sixteen-month monster of mine. You just threw two footballs down the stairs and I need to make sure you don't come tumbling after.

Love you so, very very much,
Mama

(Year 1) November 1st 2012

Dear One Year Old, 

Hello! We made it! One year older, but I am feeling like the wiser one in this case. I cannot believe it. You are growing and growing every day and suddenly it is your first birthday! Does it ever stop? I guess not, thought parts of me really would like to put life on pause and just keep these moments a little while longer. 

So anyway, just some things about you and your one year old self:

You love walking and have been doing it for about three weeks now

Cars are pretty cool

You love Pepper, but she mostly keeps her distance because you poke her eyes a lot

You usually fall asleep when we ride in the car

Bath time is pretty fun now that you have toys you like

You drink from a sipee just as well as you do from a bottle

Sleeping through the night is something you are expert in

You have the strangest fascination with toothbrushes

Your favorite food is probably bananas

Words you say: Mama, Papa, nie nie, and can sign more, all done, and milk

You have the stairs, up and down, completely mastered

For your party we had a Harry Potter theme because I got to choose this year. Next year it will probably be cars or dinosaurs or airplanes; something completely boy I'm sure. But for this year I knew you really wouldn't have a clue what was happening so I wanted it to be fun for me and all your cousins. It was boisterous, fun, and there was some delicious food. All in all, a successful first birthday. 

And now, here you are, one year old! I simply cannot get over it. My little baby boy is slowly slipping away. Though these new phases are fun and exciting, but I sometimes miss my teeny-tiny baby. 

Love you and Happy Birthday!

Mama

(Month 9) August 30th 2012

Dear Blake, 

Nine whole months and I cannot believe it. Honestly, you are teaching me so much about love and family, things I could never learn unless I was learning them as your mom. I love being with you and spending time with you ever day. I love watching you crawl all over the house. I love watching you develop tastes for different types of food. I especially love holding you for your naps. 

This is something many people have tried to keep me from doing. "Don't hold him for naps," they say, " or he will never learn how to take a nap on his own." That is precisely why I love to hold you though, my little man. I like to be with you when you sleep. On occasion, yes, I do need a nap myself and nothing is more comfortable than holding my precious boy. Mostly thought, I hold you because time is fleeting and those moments of quiet and closeness are so precious to me. I like being there to comfort you when you wake up. I love feeling you warm and cozy while you rest. I love watching your slackened face as the binky finally falls right out of your mouth. Naps are nice and something I will miss when they are over. 

I also find ways to get a little space from you when it is absolutely necessary. You Papa is pretty good at taking over after an especially tiring day. Your G.G. loves to have you come and visit. When we go to her house you always have both grandparents' full attention. You also have a Tio, a Kelsey, and a Nana who are all pretty much smitten with your mobile little self.

Love you, 

Mama

(Month 7) Saturday, June 2nd 2012

Dear Blake My Little Fish,

You darling, are the cutest thing I have seen in swim trunks. I cannot get over how much fun we had in the water today. It was overcast, and a bit chilly if I say so myself, but you still had the greatest time playing with your cousin Ryan and the rest of the family who came along with us. 

I must admit, at first I was hesitant to bring you along to the pool. You don't really like being splashed in the face and that is a dead guarantee when there are a bunch of kids playing around in the water. I was afraid you would be upset or put off of swimming entirely if you were splashed. I was afraid it would ruin our entire summer experience. Yet, my fears were not justified. You had a BALL!

You loved being in the water. You loved splashing with your chubby fingers. You loved kicking your bitty feet. You loved your floatie. Honestly, the only thing you didn't love were the red sunglasses G.G. tried to have you wear. Hey, to each his own, I won't hold it against you. 

Love you my boy.

Mama

(Month 7) June 18th 2012

Dear Blake, 

There is nothing more exciting than the real discovery of fingers. You have been pretty good at pinching and poking with your fingers, but now you are really coming to grips with recognizing your hands as YOUR hands. I love all of the things you do with those hands. Most especially I am smitten every time you reach your hands out to me. Heart melts, let me just say. 

Love always, 

Mama

(Month 7) June 1st 2012

Dear Little Trooper, 

We had a grand adventure today. We took Pepper and Tio and Grandpa up the canyon and we hiked Stewart Falls. It was pretty warm and pretty far, but you enjoyed most of the trek from the comfort of your baby carrier. The entire time you hardly made a peep. Honestly, I thought it was going to be much more difficult than it was. You seemed comfortable, I was comfortable, and the only person uncomfortable was Pepper because her paws were so stinking hot on all the sun scorched dirt. 

She was so pleased when we reached the water and she could romp around in the cool for a while. It was warm, I will admit, but we had plenty of water with us and we did simply fantastically. On the way back down from the falls we had to take several breaks to let poor, poor Pepper rest in the shade. She really hasn't gotten the exercise she deserves since you were born. This pretty much burned her out, something I never thought would happen. However, in the end, we all made it back home safe and sound. It was a delightful little jaunt and we enjoyed it very much. 

Love always, 

Mama

(Month 3) February 1st 2012

My dear, dear Blake, 

I love you to the moon and back. I love you like I never knew I could. Your eyes are heaven, your smiles are so precious, and your laugh to die for. From fingers to toes you are the most incredible miracle I have ever witnessed. Each and every moment I spend being your mom teaches me something new. I learn about myself and my limits. I learn about you and your amazing growth. I learn about this world we live in and the beauty that surrounds us. You are great! You are great in so many ways. 

At three months you are babbling like mad. I will sit working on the computer and have you keeping me company in your bouncy seat in the office. For the most part you will sit quietly and swat at your keys. Then, without warning, you will spew a stream of babble that is so riveting I will stop my typing and just listen to you go on and on about something, of which I only wish I could understand. You have so many things to tell me, I know. I can see the importance of each effort to speak glinting in your eyes. You have captured me, most certainly Littleman. 

These three months have gone by in a crawl of cold weather and very few outings. I don't like taking you out in the frigid air. It is really not pleasant. So we usually just cuddle at home, especially if dad needs the car to go to work. When he is home we do much of the same. Sitting, cuddling, watching a movie here, watching you roll on the floor there. Boy! You are growing too fast. I will probably be thinking this for the rest of time, but it is the truth. 

The moment I think I have a handle on all of your new tricks you go and do something amazing. You grab things with both hands. You smile and light up when you see people you recognize. You love getting tickles. You hate loud surprises. There is so much about your sweet personality that we catch glimpses of and we are so grateful you are ours. 

All the love in the world, 

Mama