(Week 35) Thursday, Sept 22nd

(Week 35) Thursday, Sept 22^nd

Baby Honeydew,

            Your melon is just getting bigger now and you are feeling pretty hefty in there too. Resources suggest you can be up to five pounds by this point and that you are quickly running out of room. I believe it. I lay down and you are in my ribs. I roll to one side and you stick out. I roll to the other and you kick my liver. Really kid, I would appreciate it if you would stop picking on my internal organs. They can’t take much more of your abuse. Fortunately the end is near, about one month or so away.

            The reason I am writing to you is because I need a break from writing boring articles for my freelance job. I was told the month of September would be fairly slow, in fact I may not have any work at all. I was excited about this, thinking I would finally have the time I needed to start getting things done around the house. Not with my luck, little one. Turns out I am still working just as hard at writing articles as I have in the past. In fact, I may be working harder. Eeps! I don’t know how much longer my lower back can take in my thrown of pillows. Not only do I have to find a way to support you, but I also have to be able to see my laptop. Quite the feat little one, because you stick out so far.

            I love watching your little kicks and wiggles. You thump here and bump there. I can feel you and sometimes I can even see parts of you. Mostly your bummy is what is poking out.

            Well, I better get back to it. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you and loving you. It happens more and more every day.

                        Always yours,

                                    Momma

(Week 35) Wednesday, Sept 21st

(Week 35) Wednesday, Sept 21^st

Well Little One,

            Today Ryan McKenna was born and now GG wants to have a little baby to hold. Her very own grandbaby boy. That is you, but thank goodness you are showing no real signs of making a break for it because Papa and Mama are NOT ready. I mean yes, we want you here and with us. Yes we want to see, and meet, and cuddle you. But no, we do not even have a crib for you to sleep in. We do not have any newborn diapers. We do not have any wipes, or bottles, or binks. All we really have is a newborn Halloween costume. You will be a cute and cuddly monkey your first year. Hope you don’t mind.

            But when Steph showed up with baby Ryan we all were a little covetous of that perfection only a newborn can bring. She is one big newborn, and I hope you are not nearly as big. I am already scared enough about bringing you into this world. Let us not make it any more difficult on your mommy, agreed?

                        All My Heart,

                                    Momma

(Week 35) Tuesday, September 20th

(Week 35) Tuesday, Sept 20^th

Dear Monkey Bum,

            Tonight we went sorting through some of Great Grandma Gygi’s things. It was fun for me to sift through drawers and find treasures hidden throughout. What was more fun was sitting and chatting with my cousin Steph while we sorted. Her baby is coming tomorrow morning, guaranteed. You will love Steph. She makes me laugh and makes me cringe about all the things to expect in the hospital. This little Ryan Mckenna is going to be your closest relative as far as age goes. She will be Steph’s second baby, but the first was nine years ago so there is a bit of a gap there. Yet she still remembers her first pregnancy vividly. I tell you, at some points she had me wanting to run for my life. Your arrival is avidly anticipated, despite all the hideous and horrifying things I have heard about labor and delivery.

                        Always and Forever,

                                    Momma

(Week 35) Sunday, Sept 18th

(Week 35) Sunday, Sept 18^th

My Dear Dear Boy,

            Today we went for a lovely Sunday stroll after church. The sun was setting, the weather was warm, and the fall weather is starting to show it’s true colors. P.Potts was in need of attention and the weather was blissfully perfect, so we walked.

            This Sunday was ward conference and the messages from the pulpit were particularly lovely. I don’t mind being pregnant and sitting in church. In fact, I find it quite comfortable. Then, after the first meeting, the Stake President sat in my Sunday School class. What a blessing it was. I know, you might think that something like this would intimidate your poor mom. I thought it too when he first poked his head in. He sat down in a chair and my heart would not stop throbbing. Then, when things settled and the spirit entered the room it was wonderful. I communicated the points I had planned, and was inspired to communicate many other things. The Stake President participated and answered a few of my questions, but our class also participated. That is a downright miracle for me on other Sundays.

            Then the Stake President taught in Relief Society as well. He did a marvelous job talking about death and our lives in the next life. It was such a comfort to hear those words and feel those feelings. The spirit presided over all of our meetings, to be sure.

            Then we went for a comfortable and lovely walk. Your Papa and I talked a lot about how our lives will change when you arrive. We are very excited and a little nervous. P.Potts is a little torn too. She knows something is going on, but I am not sure if she has decided if it is a good or bad thing yet. For sure, we already love you.

                        Love Forever,

                                    Momma

(Week 34) Monday, September 12th

(Week 34) Monday, September 12^th

My Little Boy,

            Today was another visit to Dr. Willis. The more we see him the more I love him and am so comforted that he is my doctor. You are going to have one big head, and not because it is in your genes.

Dr. Willis always leaves me feeling like I am Queen of the Universe and that I am doing such a good job housing your little body. Dr. Willis knows how to make me feel strong, comfortable, in control, and confident that everything will be perfect. The fact is, I do very little. This amazing miracle is happening almost of its own accord. I try to eat right and stay active, but those are things I have done my entire life.

            Here is how some of the visit went this time. I sit up on the table and he touches each of my ankles. “Beautiful ankles.” He grabs a chart and reads the info there. “Blood pressure of a teenager, perfect.” He tells me to lay back and measures my belly. “Isn’t that the cutest little belly you have ever seen?” I tell you baby, he is so great and then goes on to say how cute I was when I was born. He expects the same for you and I have to agree.

            Everything looks right on track. We have another appointment next month and then will probably making more and more frequent visits as your time gets a little closer.

            One thing I have not been taking advantage of is the time when Dr. Willis asks if I have any questions. This time I made sure to have a couple in mind so that when he asked me I could have questions answered and get his perspective.

            Question 1: How many people can I have in the delivery room with me?

            Answer: As many as you want to shoehorn in there. This is all about you and your baby and what you want. This made me smile. I can either tell them to all gather, or make sure no one comes in because “Dr’s orders.” Granted I will be there, with some nurses, and then whomever you choose: Doula, midwife, whatever. I have worked in all kinds of environments. Truth is I am only there for when things might go wrong, otherwise your body will do the rest.

            My Answer: Mostly I just want my husband there, your Papa. He is my best friend, by biggest support, and promises to be a good distraction. Doc says he will make sure our room is big enough for Papa to “squeeze into.” That made me smile too.

            Question 2: What are your feelings about birthing naturally?

            Answer: Every one is different, but I can tell you that 95% of women decide to use the epidural. Then, of the five percent remaining several of them have tried to make me sign a contract to never ever give them an epidural, but the majority changes their mind. This is because it just hurts to damn bad. His words, not mine. My partner here in the hospital, I have delivered all of her children naturally and she did just fine. So really it is up to you and what you want most. If you want to deliver in a tub, fine. If you want to deliver on a ball, fine. If you want to deliver standing on your head with a doula circling the room in feathers and maracas, fine. I will tell you that most women end up delivering in bed. Mostly we just play it by ear and end up doing what you want, when you want.

            My Answer: Good. I want to try natural, but am not opposed to the epidural if necessary. I don’t know what it will be like, but want to experience a bit of it if I can. Sounds crazy, but the truth is you are important and whatever is best for you is what I will end up doing.

            So there you have it. Two whole questions for the doc. That is how comfortable and confident I am. This whole things seems real and unreal, close and so far away. What a ride it has been and the best is yet to come. Only a handful of appointments left and then I can have you in my arms! I am so looking forward to it.

                        Love Always,

                                    Your Mama

(Week 34) Saturday, September 10th

(Week 34) Saturday, September 10^th

Little Melon,

            Actually you are a cantaloupe at this point, though to me you see much, much bigger. I am finally beginning to understand what nesting is all about. This morning I went to the gym, went in to work for a little while, and then went home to start getting the house ready, yet again. The bedroom is our first stop. Your Papa has made me such a beautiful and wonderful bed. Today was the day we set it up. Your Uncle Lincoln and your GG and Granpa came over to help us out. They were so helpful and so great. You will love them, I know it already.

            The bed is fantastic, but looked a little strange with our queen mattress perched atop the king size platform. I never before realized how truly small a queen is in comparison. That and the fact that labor day sales were still going on we decided to pick up a new mattress too. It is lovely, though we won’t be able to use it until tomorrow. It came all rolled up and crammed into a box.

            With only one major project down I am feeling overwhelmed a little at how much I still need to accomplish before your grand entrance. Some things, like house cleaning, are pretty necessary. Other things, like picking out 3T baby clothes, not so necessary. I am trying to keep perspective and work slowly but surely on the things that need doing. It is hard work, but I suppose you will be worth all the effort. I would rather be shopping for you, but will do as much hose prepping as possible. I mean, you will certainly need a warm and comfortable place to sleep as well as a clean and comfortable place to live.

                        Carry On,

                                    Momma

(Week 33) Wednesday and Thursday, Sept. 7th-8th

(Week 33) Wednesday and Thurs, Sept. 7^th-8^th

My Little Boy,

            These last two days were spent remembering Great Grandma Gygi. We celebrated her life, her love, and the many lessons we learned from her. We had a viewing on Wednesday night and her funeral on Thursday. The services were lovely and so were the flowers. It was nice spending so much time with family and remembering the things that are most important in this life. She was a grand lady and I am sad she will not be here to meet you in person. I know however that she will watch out for all of us from the other side. We are all very lucky.

                        Love,

                                    Momma

(Week 32) Thursday, September 1st

(Week 32) Thursday, September 1^st

Oh Little One,

            Today was a long, hard day. In fact, it has been one of the worst days in a long while. Today your great grandma Kaye Florence Holmstead Gygi passed away. It was stressful and a bit of a surprise for all of us, but also such a blessing. Here is how it happened.

            Today I went to work, a usual and ordinary day. I knew that Diana would be taking Gran to the hospital, so I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t show up at her usual time. Her plan to be there was blessing number one in disguise. Diana was the one to find her, which was very sad. She was also the one to show up early that morning, only hours after she passed away, which was very good. I received a phone call from Aunt Diana almost right at 9:00am. She told me that grandma had passed away and I needed to call my dad and mom. I was dumbfounded and stunned, part of me unwilling to believe it was true. It took me several long minutes before I could respond, saying I would do all I could.

            After that I began to make phone calls, many unanswered phone calls. I called my dad on his cell and at his work, then did the same for my mom. No one answered. Then I called your Papa and told him the horrid news. He was so supportive and willing to do all he could to help me out. He told me I should just come home, but I couldn’t leave work until my priorities were taken care of. Then I just kept trying to reach my parents. It was horrible. I cried and cried. I stressed out. Then I finally reached my mother. She told me she would take care of telling my dad, who had stayed home from work today. That is blessing number two. Thursday, a day no one in the their right mind would normally take off to repair a truck, was taken by my father. He was home, out for a run actually, which is why I couldn’t reach him at work or on his cell. He was home the day his mother died.

            Once my work was finished I headed out to the house. They said if I got there before one then I would be able to see her before the mortuary came and picked her up. I was torn. Part of my wanted to say one last goodbye, but another big part of me didn’t want to see and remember her that way, to remember her that way. In the end I made it just in time. I saw her, said goodbye, and waited out the rest of the day in the living room surrounded by my family. We talked and cried for many hours. We also laughed, shared, and remembered.

            Later in the afternoon Shalin even sent me a message. She and Ben live in Carolina and she heard about it and made sure I knew she was thinking of me. I hope you are so lucky! One thing I know for sure is that when you pick friends you want to make sure they are good people of influence and kindness, because that will rub off on you and always make you feel loved. That way, when times are hard and sad, you have someone who can do their little part to help pick you up.

            So baby boy, give Great Grandma a big hug from me and learn all you can from her. I am sure she will educate you about all of the crazy you are about to be born in to. She will also tell you about all of the love and unity we have as a family. I hope you listen, and listen well.

                        Love, As Always

                                    Momma