Dear Little Bundle,
Well at least we are hoping you are a little spec. We have not confirmed your existence quite yet, but a few things have happened that make your little life very, very possible. So I am writing to you, believing and dreaming and wishing that all will be well and in about 9 months we will be able to meet you and officially welcome you to this world.
Truth be told, I am completely hesitant to begin this little letter writing tradition with you so early. I started one about six months ago for the same reason, the same beginning, the same hoping, and later came back and deleted them all because it didn't go according to plan. At the time, deleting those little notes to my other little spec seemed like the only thing to do. Now though, I wish I had kept them, because I know that experience, no matter how disappointing, is not something that can be so easily erased. It wasn't all bad either.
There was so much good and joy that simply came from believing and hoping. And there was even some good in the difficulty of knowing it wasn't going to work out and going through the process of letting that would-be-baby go. Heartbreaking, but also a sweet strength that prepared me for some other hard things ahead. Which is why I am starting anew with you, little one--with that same hope and love.
You give us such great joy and no matter the ending. This hope is vibrant and real for us right now. I am not likely to publish that hope to the world just yet, but I will file this letter away and make the series known when the time is right, if the time is ever right. We fiercely want you to become a permanent part of this family. We want to make room and make plans for you in our life. We want that real joy to last forever.
So, in short, I just wanted you to know, you are important. Physically, you are only a tiny bundle of cells right now, but you are important. You are important to me, to your father, and to your brother.
Love,
Your New Family
No comments:
Post a Comment